#.Chapter 2
[dog barking]
[Iris sobbing hysterically]
[motor whirring]
Ethan: Amanda! Amanda?
[grunts]
Ethan: Look. May I just say again that I did not sleep with her.
Amanda: Right, because your receptionist needs to work till 3:00 in the morning.
Ethan: A bunch of us were working all night. She wanted to hang out.
Amanda: Okay. Then swear on my life that you didn't sleep with her.
Ethan: Oh, come on.
Amanda. Go ahead.
Ethan: Look, I don't wanna... I'm not gonna ...
Amanda: Your receptionist, Ethan? You know, this is why I kenw that we were smart never to get married. This is why I told you never to get rid of your house. You know, somewhere inside, I knew this about you.
Ethan: Okay, first of all, can you please calm down? All right? Because I did not sleep with her. All right? And secondly, we've had problems for over a year, and I know you don't want to deal with that but we have.
Amanda: Oh, I am well aware we've had problems for the last year. If I work a little bit too much, I never stop hearing about it, but if you work too much, maestro, it's for the sake of your music.
Ethan: If you work too much? Amanda, you cut 75 trailers this year, you put a cutting room in this house and you sleep with your BlackBerry. And I'm not even gonna have a conversation with you about sex because I can't remember the last time we did it.
Amanda: Come on, nobody has time for sex.
Ethan: That' s not entirely true.
Amanda: That's it! You absolutely slept with her. Seriously, you have to get out. Oh, God. You know what I really think, Ethan? I don't think you ever really loved me. How's that?
Ethan: Oh, please.
Amanda: No, I think you love the idea of you and me, but not so much me. Not me. Not really.
Ethan: Look, I did the best I could. Is anybody good enough for that job?
Amanda: I will send you your things.
Ethan: You know you do this, right? I mean, you screw up every relationship you've ever been in. It's what you do. You didnt' really want to be a couple! You resist it in your own way!
Amanda: Shut up!
Ethan: And it's hard to detect how you even do it because nobody's quite as smart as you. So you're hard to catch at it, but it always surfaces, and this is what happens.
Amanda: What happens?
Ethan: Things end. Just like you knew they would. Amanda, you know how I feel about you. There's nobody like you. You just don't want to be what I need. Well, not what I need.
Amanda: What?
Ethan: I mean, you know.. You know what I mean.
Amanda : You know, I would never cheat on you. Not under any conditions.
Ethan: And neither would I, okay? I mean, look at me, I'm down here sweating like a pig, and look at you. I mean, you're the only woman on the face of the earth who breaks up with her boyfriend and doesn't even shed a tear? I mean, that's gotta mean something, right?
Amanda: Why does it bug you so much that I can't cry?
[Amanda groans]
Amanda: Oesophageal spasm(식도경련). God, it's a big one. No, it's okay. I'll be all right.
Ethan: I know, I know. I'm thinking about me.
Amanda: Ethan, look, it's over. You know, we might as well be honest with each other. Just tell me. Did you sleep with her? Just say it. What's the difference at this point, right? I mean, why torture me? Just... Just put me out of my misery. God, what are we doing here?
Ethan: Okay. Yes, okay? I slept with her. Are you happy? I've been sleeping with her. She's in love with me. She's young. Look, this is not a proud moment for me. I mean, you should just know that. Amanda!
Amanda: Did you say am I happy?
Ethan: I didnt' mean that. You know, you get me nuts sometimes. I say things I don't mean.
Amanda: In the world of love, Ethan, not that I'm such a genius at it, but in the world of love, cheating is simply not acceptable.
Ethan: NO matter what you think.. I know you have a very high opinion of yourself. This isn't all me.
Amanda: Okay.
Ethan: So when you're not in such a rage, I think you'll see that, too.
Amanda: Yeah, maybe. Maybe when I stop having visions of you two together, I will see your side.
Ethan: You gotta be...
Amanda: I punched him in the face.
[clears throat]
- Is this a bad time?
Amanda: No. No, I'm just, I'm just flipping out a little bit.
- Oh, okay.
Amanda: God. Okay, no I'm okay. God, how did this happen? No. You know what? I'm all right. Hi. What's up?
- Ben needs you.
[narrator] Rebecca Green was just your average 20-year-old until the father she never knew left her something she never expected.
[man] Don't scream. Your father left you something in his will.
- I never met my father.
- Well, at least now you know he was interesting.
[narrator reading]
- How do you happen to have two guns?
- I didn't think one would be enough.
Amanda: Amazing! It finally looks like a hit.
- And that is why they pay you the big bucks.
Amanda: I think we should just go back to the original cut on the end. It's so much stronger.
- I agree.
Amanda: And make Christmas Day twice as big, but try it in a red. Like, a happy red, no, like, a Scorsese red.
- Happy red.
Amanda: Okay, so we're done.
- Okay.
- All right.
Amanda: Hey, you know, let's just take off for a few weeks.
- Yeah.
Amanda: What do you mean, "Yeah"? I'm not kidding.
- You always say that this is our busiest time.
Amanda: I need to get out of town. You know, I think I need some peace and quiet, or whatever it is people go away for. You know what I really want to do? I want to eat crabs without wanting to kill myself. You know, I want to read a book, not just a magazine. An actual book. For years I read these reviews, I buy the books, but I never read them. Did you read that article in The New York Times last Sunday? Severe stress makes women age prematurely, because stress causes the DNA in our cells to shrink until they can no longer replicate. So when we're stressed, we look haggard. This is just women, not men.
- I'm sorry.
Amanda: And remember when they used to say that single women over the age of 35 were more likely to be killed by a terrorist than to get married? Okay, that was horrible, but now our generation is also not getting married and bonus, real terrorists actually became part of our lives so the stress of it all shows up on our faces, making us look haggard while Ethan goes on looking cute forever and shtupping his 24-year-old receptionist! Oh my God! See what I mean? I need a vacation.
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